


Qin Der El

by Gan_HOPE326



Category: Original Work, Real Person Fiction
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-16 01:51:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16075856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gan_HOPE326/pseuds/Gan_HOPE326
Summary: A Marxist fairy tale.





	Qin Der El

**Author's Note:**

> Someone on r/FanFiction posted a thread whose title only said "cinderella but the genders are swapped and its a glass cock ring in communist china". There was only one answer I could give to such a prompt.
> 
> Challenge accepted.

"Your productivity is falling, Comrade Qin Der El!" said the People's Factory Manager. "You will now work overnight as well to meet your quota. For the glory of the Revolution!"  
"Yes, comrade!" said Qin, happy that his sweat and blood could be poured even further for the cause, yet sad that apparently his efforts were inadequate. "I shall do my best."  
Those were careless, wistful days in Peking, under the wise and just rule of Chairman Mao. Qin Der El would often sigh, considering whether such bliss, and the honour to spend thirteen hours a day casting ammo for the armies that would bring the Revolution to the world, was appropriate for one as lowly as him. He realised that his understanding of the deep truths of Communism was too superficial; he feared that his inadequacy could pollute the political purity of the country. To whom could he look up, to achieve a better understanding?  
One day, the General Inspector of the Party came to the factory. Qin was being whipped by the Manager, and at every hit, he regretted deeply that so much good leather was being dirtied by his own blood and skin fragments.  
"Well, well, what do we have here. I remember you, comrade." said the Inspector. "I believe I signed off on your application to become a member of the Party, when you were three. How is life going?"  
"I need help!" screamed Qin, as another rightful lash of discipline ripped through his back. "I do not understand well enough the theory of Communism. My commitment isn't as deep as it should be."  
The inspector nodded, satisfied. "Hm, well, wanting to know means you're already on the right road. You might not be re-education camp material after all. I will let you in on a secret. I can make you meet someone who can teach you. If you can convince her, she will surely guide along the right way."  
And said so, the Inspector dragged Qin away to a dark alley. There, he pulled out his copy of the Capital and started reading. As the mystical words of Karl Marx filled the air - _salagadoola mechicka boola labour surplus value_ \- a choir out of nowhere sang proudly The Internationale and a shower of red stars and golden hammers and sickles fell from the sky. At the end, Qin found himself transformed, wearing a getup that he did not understand nor know, but that covered his skin much less than before, was mostly made of leather and spikes, and just didn't seem very practical for factory work. He was also gagged and masked, and felt an uncomfortable tightness around his nether regions.  
"That is better." said the Inspector. "Now, I will lead you to meet someone. She is the daughter of Chairman Mao himself. She knows much, much more about the deepest lore of Communism than any of us may ever hope to learn in a lifetime; yet she also indulges in certain... habits... whose political value is still under question. Seeing how well you withstood the whip convinced me, however, that you were the best man to help her satisfy her yearnings. Perhaps you can help each other. But remember: when the twelfth tank passes through Tiananmen square at the military parade, later today, you will revert to your old self! So end before then!"  
Qin agreed, nodding since he couldn't talk, and was led through roads unknown. Finally he was in a room alone with a woman whom he could not see - and yet her voice was so beautiful.  
"Kneel before me, bourgeois pig!" she said, cracking a whip. Qin obeyed, and felt a pang of pain as he realised she spoke the truth. He really was a bourgeois at heart - but this experience would purify him, and help him be reborn.  
It went on for a long time. The woman hurt him and insulted him in many ways, and for Qin it was a pain and a joy as he realised that through each insult, she let him achieve even higher levels of Communism. Finally, he felt her touch him in ways in which he had never been touched once. She hesitated a moment, asking, doubting - but he came towards her, inviting the even greater enlightening that was sure to follow. Also, as he became more turgid, he realised whatever was giving him that feeling of tightness became even more painful, and through pain he could only achieve more understanding.  
[THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE PEOPLE'S COMMITTEE FOR MORAL STANDARDS. PLEASE ENJOY THIS LIMERICK ABOUT COMMUNISM INSTEAD.

A bearded German called Karl  
wrote a book called Das Kapital.  
"It's obviously truth,  
that now past its youth,  
capitalism will meet its end by violent revolution of the proletariat all the world over as a consequence of dialectical materialism."

THANK YOU FOR ENJOYING THE LIMERICK. IF YOU DID NOT ENJOY IT, PLEASE APPLY FOR A REEDUCATION COURSE AT THE NEAREST CAMP.]  
But before they could joyfully reach together the End of History, unfortunately, the twelfth tank passed through Tiananmen square, and Qin's costume went back to being a simple worker's overalls. Ashamed, he retreated from his lover, and escaped before she could see his face. And yet he felt guilty at this too - had he learned nothing? After all, feeling shame for one's clothing is itself a bourgeois worry.  
The daughter of Chairman Mao was long sad for having lost that mysterious man that she had fallen in love with. Her father called the best doctors from the Soviet Union and Cuba to cure her, but it was all to no avail. She could not find peace until she was rejoined with her lost lover. Desperate, Mao asked her if she had any hints to go by to find him.  
"He wore this glass ring." said his daughter, showing the object. "Around his mighty hammer. I found it inside my sickle, afterwards."  
Chairman Mao was very happy and a bit weirded out, and did not touch the ring until he could get some gloves. But then he wondered how he could use the ring to find its owner.  
"It is small," he said, "and given that this story's author does not want any trouble, surely the person must have been an adult. There can not be many adult men who can wear this thing without crying in pain."  
So Chairman Mao called all the men in China to his palace and had them try the ring. This was a very long process that took a lot of time because China is not small. However statistically incredible this might sound, none of them managed to wear the ring without screaming in pain. Twelve years, five months and thirteen days later, it was Qin's turn to try the ring. However, since that fateful day, Qin had changed much. The experience had renewed his faith in Communism, and strong of that, his whole body had been invigorated, including his manhood. The ring did not fit any more.  
"What shall I do!" cried Mao, desperately, for Qin was the last man in China to attempt the trial. "My daughter wastes away for love!"  
"Comrade, I believe I do have the answer." said Qin. "Your daughter should not waste away; for even if she does not have her man, she has her Country, who loves her more than any man could."  
At these words, Mao's daughter's eyes widened. She dried her tears, got up from her chair and fiercely stood up. "Father, I have decided." she said. "I will marry this man."  
"But are you sure?" asked Mao. "You don't love him. You've just met him."  
"I am sure." she answered, with a smile. "What does it matter if I do not love him? After all, I have my Country, who loves me more than any man could."  
They all nodded at these words of wisdom, and laughed heartily. The wedding was celebrated later that day.  
That night, she finally realised she had married the man she'd been looking for all along.


End file.
